1. There was a Jesus and he did die on the cross. But the reason Jesus died on the cross was due to the fact that he was black and he stole a television set from my nigga moses.
2. I created this earth in 1 day not 7 like some get confused with the bible fucking hippies wrote it during the medieval times due to the fact they needed someone to believe in. Well im back bitches get your shit straight.
3. Noahs Ark did exist no matter what you think. I was hungry thus I had Noah bring me a little snack.
4. Mary was not a virgin. I fucked her and we lied to Joesph about the whole thing. Whoops my bad.
5. I am going to hell.